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    September 06

    圓舞曲

    梅雨季節的到來
    讓我發現我的身體最近起了一些變化
    第一次的開始變化
    讓我驚嚇  也讓我擔心難過了起來
    最近心情很靜很靜
    靜到自己都不知道自己是否還有人性的知覺
    一點漣漪都沒有    但也稱不上心情好
    只是一種隨心的感覺   很安靜很安靜的過著每一天
    以前會抽煙
    但不是因為學壞而抽
    也不是因為好玩好看或者喜歡而抽
    而是每當點起煙的那一煞
    我不會先抽    我會看著煙霧不知不覺的反而被煙抽
    它的旋律很漂亮   有自己的風格與規律
    從眼睛看也不過是一堆煙霧
    但從心感覺它是一種輕盈
    無負擔    而且它好像是在唱著一首圓舞曲給我聽
    我似乎也感覺到它所唱的歌   跳的舞
    是多麼的了解人心
    抽煙沒有不好
    每個人都是帶著不同的心情在抽著煙
    當下它所唱的歌就是當下自己所表現的心境
    為什麼大家不喜歡它
    因為臭  因為對身體不好  還是因為它就是香煙
    我很喜歡男生抽煙
    但所謂的喜歡不是希望男生把自己的身體抽死
    因為男生抽煙有一種莫明的吸引力
    很多男生不敢在大眾面前掉淚
    但我卻深深感覺男生一樣是可以哭
    而且會抽煙的男生
    就好像身上帶有一種魔力
    他們把七情六慾全表現在吐出的煙霧上
    每當看著他們吐出的煙霧就會覺得那團煙霧是怎樣的心情
    就像我吐出的煙霧也有我自己的心情 與故事
    但現在的身體不允許我在這樣做了
    不然真的很想在抽一口當時的那種感覺
    是多麼的輕鬆自在
     
     

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